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You can find a lot of advice on how to find a job… but there’s not a lot of good advice on how to leave one.

I’ve been part of a few wild scenarios both as an employee and as an employer. Here’s one thing I know… I remember how I left every job I had before I started Girlilla Marketing, and I am positive everyone I’ve ever worked for remembers how I left too.

When you’re new to the workforce the main goal is to gain experience. Some people frown on job hopping, but in my formative years, I didn’t hesitate to leave when I was offered a better opportunity or outgrew the role I was in. My resume was robust, but the timeline at each job was short, except for a few key positions. I don’t think that’s always a bad thing, just like I don’t think it’s a good thing to overstay in a role or at a company because it’s easier than leaving. I will say, a couple of my hops were questionable at best. While I learned the value of seeing what I wanted and taking it, my impatience got the best of me and I found myself in a couple of avoidable lateral moves. The bigger lesson wasn’t getting the new job, it was staying connected to the people who entrusted me at the current job and making sure that the transition was okay for them too. There’s not a timestamp on that. Time served outside of continued relevance and performance is an old rule that we need to let go of.

Ironically, most of my job offers came from recommendations from people who I was currently working with/for. They heard of an opportunity and had my best interest in mind despite what inconveniences it may have caused for them. They knew I’d make sure my duties were taken care of and my replacement trained before I left. Usually, the hiring bosses spoke to each other before I put in notice (i.e. I got permission and a blessing). The last job I had before starting my own company, I felt like my bosses were not only happy for me but helped me feel solid about the decision to start my own business. I was nervous as hell to quit that job, but when both sides have integrity, you can’t help but be bonded in the future.

As a young employee I once quit a job out of anger without having my next opportunity fully lined up. The job was rough. I wasn’t treated well. I thought I was being bold, sticking up for myself and trying to make sure my boss got a little fucked. Joke was on me. I was replaceable. All of those months I was passive-aggressively “quiet quitting” before that was a term, they knew… still, the initial shock and shuffle of my departure probably caused a ruckus for a couple of days and some great water cooler fodder. Truth was, I needed to quit that job. They probably could have fired me for being insubordinate. They also maybe didn’t want to fire me but hoped I would quit… and I played right in to it. But, the way I did it said more about my inability to control my emotions in the situation than it said about them. Unfortunately, I highly underestimated the time it would take me to get settled in another (and for the record, lateral) role. The other hard truth was, the old position was highly coveted and competitive. I even found out that one of my biggest cheerleaders of “you’ll show them!” applied for the role after I made my dramatic exit. Ouch.

Like a lot of us, I spent many years in the middle, learning from the best and trying to pass on what I learned to those who were coming up behind me. I had the privilege of seeing all sides of the hiring and firing process from the cheap seats. Most of the time, I was able to keep my head down because the final hiring or firing decisions weren’t up to me. I was assigned tasks and people to manage. There were laws, rules and protocols that someone else followed to hire and fire. My job was to make sure we were successful and point out why we weren’t if we hit roadblocks. However, someone else called the final shots.

When I advanced to hiring and firing my own team, I realized quickly how hard both of those processes were. Hiring is tricky because it’s a gamble that people have the skills they say they do during their interviews and that their personalities are what they appear to be. Getting to the bottom of both of those factors while doing actual work is a real-time social experiment. One new member of an established team can throw off the chemistry in ways you never thought of… or raise the bar in ways you never imagined. Over the years, I’ve had much more success in hiring out of freelance roles than cold interviews. 

We’ve had on-the-spot quitting, and firings due to the most unscrupulous behavior you can imagine, but most often employees have graciously moved on due to other opportunities or a lack of results for our work specifically. All of these things are to be expected in business. Worse than all of those situations is the employee who does just enough to not get fired but doesn’t have the honor to resign. The foulest thing I think I’ve ever done as a hiring manager is to allow concessions for underdelivering employees at the cost of my overdelivering team members. The disenchanted employee who constantly doesn’t deliver is the most contagious condition to unhappiness in our workspace. If you hate your job or your boss… or perhaps it’s a loss of passion or competitive edge, have the integrity to turn in your notice. If there’s a new opportunity you want to pursue, give notice as far in advance as possible and help with the transition.

As an employer, the best thing you can do is to call someone to the carpet clearly, kindly and swiftly. In 17 years, demoting an employee has never worked out for me. For employers, poaching is pedestrian. Most of us are all out here doing the best we can with what we have. If there’s a better opportunity for someone that happens to work with me that I respect and want the best for, I’ll be first in line to help them go, because that’s what all my amazing bosses did for me. I can hear one of those conversations with a former boss who said, “If they don’t call me first, they won’t hesitate to replace you either. Is that the kind of person/company you want to work for?” 

The line that bounces off the halls at Girlilla Marketing is “You have to be a little crazy to want to do this job.” I mean it too. Most of the time if it wasn’t a fit, it wasn’t because there was something wrong with the employee. We have a uniquely varied skill set that also requires the ability to adapt to constant change. It can burn out anyone. I have been truly #blessed to have long-term key employees at Girlilla Marketing who are bright, talented and could go anywhere they want. They’ll never have to sit across from me and ask me if I value them or beg for a raise. But if that day comes that another opportunity comes their way they want to pursue, as the person who hired them, I know it’s also my responsibility to teach them how to leave.

Be good online... and in real life,
Jennie